So You've Been Exiled From The Detroit Megacity: How To Not Die For A Year
By Philip Kindred | July 2nd, 2070 | 529,012 Views
Alright, so. Fuck only knows what you did to get kicked out. Walked out of work with some paper clips, punched out a Guard while drunk, maybe even tried to advocate for the Sprawlers! But through only moderate fault of your own you're going to be kicked out of Society for a year until the Megacity is satisfied you've repented.
A SOURCE OF FIRE
Yeah. No stoves out there, or HVAC, or clean water. You're gonna want fire. Now, Sparkers are available cheap express mail from SovAsia, or at the Junk Market (shhh! More on that later.) But honestly, you can't go wrong with a cheap plastic Canary Yellow. Make it two or three. You're gonna need 'em. If you were a Pearson Junior Jungler as a kid and Dad shelled out the requisite dosh for Advanced Survival, you might know how to make fire with two sticks and some tinder! Lucky you-but unfortunately for the rest of us, that's copyrighted information I can't share here. For those of you too skint for a lighter, you can use a piece of foil and an AA battery...but good luck, you're gonna need it.
A SOURCE OF WATER
Or, clean water, at the very least. Listen hoss-right now, before your utilities get shut off and the Guards drag you out of the city, fill a few bottles with water. Those'll last you a day. Maybe two. While you're at it, grab a kettle, pot, or empty can. Water outside the walls will give you the trots or worse, and on the off chance you didn't pay attention in school, DON'T DRINK THE WATER FROM THE BLACK SWAMP. Not unless you want to die with blood streaming from every hole in your body. Black Swamp water has a characteristic sharp chemical odor-easily smelled from arm's length, which is about as close as you should get. If you don't know where water came from, don't drink it until you've boiled it or run it through a PW-Tronics Water Tester ($75 (Congo)(DBay)(PW-Tronics Official Website)). If you're satisfied that your water is not, in fact, going to chemically scour your colon free of all that pesky 'healthy lining', then throw that shit in whatever pot, kettle, or empty can you grabbed and boil it before you pour it into your face.
A SOURCE OF FOOD
Near the city, there's not a whole lot of options for wildlife. For five kilometers outside the sprawl every cat, dog, squirrel, fox, rat, or seagull is either in someone's belly, in someone's cage, or in someone's pot. Ditto anything green with more nutritional value than grass or less fiber than bushes. Outside those five kilometers, you'll do just fine with a handmade squirrel trap (find ]here[, BY-NC-SA, differs by 75% from the Pearson Junior Jungler "Squirrel Taker!" copyright) or rat trap. Or both. Trust me, you're going to want both. White berries are never safe to eat, blue or black berries are always safe, and red berries are a gamble. Don't eat any mushrooms you see unless you took the aforementioned Advanced Class, because if you went to the trouble of reading this instead of requesting an PharmaCon EndIt, I doubt you want to die.
SOMEWHERE SAFE TO SLEEP
If you went to sleepovers as a kid or camped as an adult, you're already halfway there-grab your sleeping bag and stick it under your arm-unless you've shelled out for a Pearson Pharaoh ($100, (Congo)(DBay)(Pearson Official Website)), in which case stick it in your bag, it won't take up the entire thing. If you didn't, go grab whichever of your blankets is the least comfortable-it'll probably be the most durable. You've got three options-renting someone's tent and hoping they don't rob you, hiding in the woods (which sometimes have decent cabins! That are often occupied.) or the St. James Parkade. In the latter case, if you've got at least $20, you can spend the night in safety...or, if you've got $45, in comfort. $145 will get you luxury-of a sort-but let's face it, if you've got that kind of dosh, you need to hang onto it.
Should you find a quiet, sheltered place to sleep, drink some water and tie up the bottle with a rock or some screws inside it between some trees, a doorway, or any other way someone could get to you.
At this point, you're fed, watered, and not dead yet! Good man, you've survived your first day. Just 364 left to go.
Oh, I know Detroit Dollars aren't allowed out of the city. You know they're not allowed out of the city. Every Sprawler knows. But fear not! Ain't nobody actually enforces that shit. Go to the Junk Market and you can exchange what little you stuffed into your backpack before you were sent out of the City for enough money to get...maybe a month's worth of food, if you get in line at the Last Chance. So you're going to need to start...
Looting, theft, call it what you like-if whoever lived there is dead now, it's yours. Go find a building ten kilometers from the Sprawl-just walk in one direction for two hours-and go digging. Bring a flashlight for sure, and a shovel or a crowbar if you have one. Rifle through piles of rubble and celebrate if you find a multitool, then stash that shit because it's precious. In general, if it isn't rotten, broken, or covered in slime someone will pay for it.
Then walk back. For two hours. To the Junk Market. If you have any bodyfat now, let me tell you-it's about to be a thing of the past.
On the way back from your local rubble pile with your sack of old world crap-or your armful of old world crap, sacks let alone a backpack are precious in the Sprawl-you are almost guaranteed to run into someone. If you're lucky, they won't want your stuff. If you're really unlucky, they'll have a red hoody or a necklace of human teeth-THAT means Bad Mutha, and that means RUN until you find a Guard. Unless! You somehow got access to a gun or bow while you were still in our fair city's good graces. If you have a history of punching dudes before you took a swing at that guard, that works too. If you paid for the Bows and Bowcraft course in your Junior Jungler troop, you're set-paper, string, and broken glass are everywhere around the Sprawl, and you probably walked past a stand of trees on the way to the local ruin.
Luckily, most inhabitants of the Sprawl-Looter or Guard-just want to live another day. Smile, be polite, and take cover yesterday if they've got a bow or a gun. You don't know if that gun's loaded, and the sufficiently jittery will shoot first and ask questions later. If they don't, smile widely, don't look like a threat, and you'll pass amicably.
If someone starts charging after you and doesn't respond after a single offered ceasefire, start running yourself or get ready to defend yourself. Breathe out, aim, and fire.
You survived! Hope you brought some meds, because odds are strong-especially if you punched, stabbed, or clubbed your way out-that you're bleeding. If you've got painkillers, take 'em. If you've got a bottle of booze or some spray antiseptic, apply it to your wounds before you tie a clean rag on top. If you haven't got any clean rags, use dirty ones. If you haven't got any dirty rags, choose whichever piece of you or your opponent's clothing is most damaged and tear it apart before tying it in place.
With that done, go look at their stuff. Nobody will blink, trust me. Take whatever's valuable, put on any clothes in better shape than your own, and go back to the Junk Market. If you feel weak, go get something to eat and buy a night at the Parkade to heal. Play it cool until you're feeling 100% again.
And there you go.
This assumes that you're going to want to stay close to the Sprawl-which is, unless you made a habit of hunting or camping, your safest bet. Follow this advice and in a year you should be alive to reenter the city-worn, lean, hungry, with a thousand yard stare...but alive.
PRIORITY ITEMS FROM YOUR HOME OR IMMEDIATE PURCHASE
A bow and arrows OR a firearm and ammunition
A pot, can, or kettle to boil water in
A lighter or other source of fire
A sleeping bag or sturdy blanket
Any form of first aid kit, or at least a bottle of alcohol and some rags
2-4 bottles of clean water
A small knife or multitool
ANY FORM OF BACKPACK but especially a Pearson Yukon ($75, (Congo)(DBay)(Pearson Official Website))
Optional quality-of-life items
PW-Tronics Water Tester ($75 (Congo)(DBay)(PW-Tronics Official Website))
Cage-type rat trap
A crowbar or shovel
Canned foods (heavy and of limited utility, but worth a fair bit at the Junk Market)
Salt and other spices (you're going to want them)
Nanorobot Medkit (if you have one of these by some miracle, hang onto it)
Good luck, and don't pet the dogmen.
I prepared Explosive Runes this morning!