Good news, everyone! It looks like Tiago was able to finally squash the rendering bug in mobile!
His latest change successfully detects the device type, and enables or disables High DPI rendering mode accordingly. And so far, all testing points towards a success! His iPad 2, my iPad3, and several iPhone models are all showing correct behavior, and no crashes now.
Plus, as an added bonus, one of the input bugs on the main menu went away with it. Woohoo! A two-fer!